March 5th, 2010
Ovulation only happens for an approximate 24 hour period, which means you can only, really, conceive during this short window of time, with the exception of something rare happening.
However, ovulation can be like a moving target, being very unpredictable as far as when it is going to happen exactly. And then there is the fact that sperm can live inside of you up to around 7 days before, waiting to be the one that gets to merge with your beautiful egg when she makes her showing. This increases the number of days you are contributing to the conception process. If you do not want a pregnancy at this time and are not on some sort of the Pill, then you need to learn as much as you can about this. If you end up ovulating on Day 11, let’s say, then you’d better start using birth control around Day 4!
In my upcoming book, Four Seasons in Four Weeks, I talk a great deal about the symbolism of ovulation. Some of the best articles on the biology of ovulation and the natural monthly hormonal rhythm of women are found online at fertility sites.
Here’s one that I found today when doing some research on ovulation that helps to explain why ovulation can be difficult to pinpoint.
Thank you to BabyHopes.com for this article.
http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/ovulation-conception.html
How Soon After Ovulation Will Conception Occur?
Technically speaking, it is extremely unlikely for conception to occur any time other than during ovulation. Once ovulation is over, there is not generally egg for the sperm to fertilize. Having said that, it is important to understand exactly how the process of conception works, and how it relates to ovulation.
Conception occurs when a sperm meets up with an egg and fertilizes it in a woman’s fallopian tube. That fertilized egg then travels into the uterus, where it implants in the wall of the uterus several days later. The only time during a woman’s monthly cycle that there is an egg in her fallopian tube is, by definition, when she is ovulating. The egg can survive for only about one day when it is in the fallopian tube. For some women, it is possible that an egg could survive as many as three days after ovulation, and thus conception could occur. This is extremely rare. For conception to occur, the sperm has to meet the egg pretty much immediately when you ovulate.
Still, there are things that may make it seem like conception occurs after ovulation. For example, during a given month, it is possible that ovulation would occur later than it usually does. Any number of factors can cause this to happen, including illness, dietary changes, increase in physical activity, and even stress. Ovulation can sometimes occur as much as a week after it normally does.
In some extremely rare cases, it may be possible for it to seem as though you conceived while you are on your period. For example, if you have an extremely short menstrual cycle, it is possible that you could begin ovulating right as you are done menstruating. Another possibility is if you tend to bleed for a long period of time during your period. If this is the case, it could be that you are still bleeding long after you are actually done menstruating, and while you are actually ovulating.
If you are trying to conceive, there are certain times surrounding ovulation that you will want to try to conceive. Sperm can often survive as long as one week in a woman’s body. Thus, trying to conceive on the 10th, 12th, 14th, and 16th days of your monthly cycle are the optimum times for conception to occur. This assumes that you have a regular 28-day cycle, and it allows for later-than-normal ovulation.
Tags: 4s4w, Add new tag, female, females, girl, health, hormones, menstrual, moods, ovulation, period, pms, pregnancy, rhythm, rhythms, teen, woman, Women
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December 17th, 2009
copied from: http://www.menstruation.com.au/periodpages/libido.html
The female libido or sex drive changes throughout the menstrual cycle as do many other aspects of life. For example, consider energy levels and emotions. Libido often peaks at mid cycle and premenstrually or just before bleeding, and the experience of these separate peaks is different.
Many women experience pre-menstrual / menstrual sex as rawer, more urgent and more primal which is not surprising considering our heightened intuitive and emotional states at this time. If we have been feeling disgruntled or irritable with our lot and those around us, sexual expression naturally takes on this aggressive edge. Moods aside, in their natural state female humans have an “inordinately high drive and orgasmic capacity”(1) at this time.
Through history and even now, there are many taboos around sexual expression before, during and just after menstruation. Menstruation which was once thought of and used as a power source for women and their cultures was debased as the world evolved into masculine rule. When it became important for men to know who their offspring were, it became important for female sexuality to be limited and controlled. With these taboos firmly in place, it is often a brave woman who dares explore her sexual nature menstrually.
Biological these sexual peaks, like many behaviours in the human body are thought to reflect the action of hormones. Not surprisingly there is still much that is unknown about hormones and female libido so it is difficult to conclusively evaluate what chemical does what and when.
Two of the hormones linked to female desire are testosterone and estrogen. Testosterone is the sex hormone most often associated with men, aggressiveness, lust and masculinity. Women produce testosterone too, (in the ovaries and adrenal glands), albeit at much lower levels than men - women have about one tenth the volume of testosterone that men do.
Both estrogen and testosterone levels peak at mid cycle They seem to combine interactively affecting the brain in different ways. Whilst testosterone may work to boost libido and energy, ensuring that the nipples and clitoris are sensitive to sexual pleasure, (whilst also maintaining muscle mass and strengthening bones) estrogen’s “basic behavioural strategy is to hone the senses.”(2)
Estrogen “pinches us and says, Pay attention. A number of studies have suggested that a woman’s vision and sense of smell are heightened at ovulation. So too do the senses shine at other times of high estrogenicity, such as right before menstruation, when your progesterone levels have dropped way down and left estrogen to act unopposed…”(2)
Men and women are different - whilst a woman may experience lust and desire, we are less likely (on the whole) to act indiscriminately. We tend to weigh up the sexual situation (using all our senses including our sixth sense) to determine the risks and benefits of sexual coupling - Is the potential suitor a good catch? Is it a safe time? Are there predators about? Are the children awake?. To put it coarsely we are less likely than men ” to think with our sexual organs” and this could be due to the influence of estrogen.
All this contributes to the difficulty in categorising female libido. Our sexuality is no longer tied to our fertility and we don’t just have sex to get pregnant. We can become aroused and desire sex at any time during our cycle - not just when we are fertile. Alternatively because we can think and are sensitive to our culture and those around us, our libido is also affected by outside factors - at times negatively.
So to sum up, many factors affect the female libido - biology, thoughts, culture and emotions to name a few.
References
(1) The Nature and evolution of Female Sexuality by Mary Jane Sherfey
(2) Woman An intimate Geography by Natalie Angiers page 201
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December 12th, 2009
One particularly warm evening in June, I observed my 12-year-old daughter having, shall I say, a cranky moment? No, it had been a cranky day – maybe two. Not that she wasn’t the cranky sort, or didn’t have it in her to be cranky, but her “spells” generally did not last long. She had always been a child with “bounce back” ability, meaning that if she got mad or upset at something or someone, it didn’t last very long. I always admired her greatly for this (actually marveled at this) as it was something I didn’t necessarily possess. It always took me longer to straighten out my attitude. Fortunately, she had always been a fairly upbeat and even-tempered person which is a joy indeed. She had also been raised to “talk it out”; in other words, if something was bothering her, she learned how to discuss it or process the situation.
On this afternoon and evening, however, there was no talking it out when asked. The not-so-subtle look of disdain shouted loud and clear, “Could you be any dumber, Mom? Leave me alone!” Now, I don’t always claim to be the brightest light bulb in the socket, but I knew that not allowing a friend over when she had just come from a 6 hour birthday/swimming party and heading to a slumber party the next night wasn’t normally cause for such dismay. After scanning my brain for any other transgressions I may have committed, I chalked it up to adolescence and the dreaded “roll-the-eyes-at-the-parents” teen phase. It started slowly the previous year or two, but had really gained momentum recently. “Oh boy”, I thought. “Here we go.”
I also had the distinct revelation: she’s going to start her period soon.
Now, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that a 12-year-old girl is going to start her period at some point within the year or so. It’s inevitable of course. We had been preparing for this since 4th grade; she had done a couple of puberty classes and we did a Mother/Daughter weekend retreat. But it occurred to me that she is in major “summer” right now (summer is the week I equate PMS to in my Four Seasons in Four Weeks strategy). She’s irritated; everyone else is stupid; it’s real to her, end of story. I wondered how long “summer” would last and when “fall” would begin.
That night as we tried to get to bed, she sat in the hallway, claiming the entire house was too hot and she wasn’t going to bed until I cooled down the joint. I explained we don’t sleep with the air conditioning on, but opened every window in the house and turned on the fan. I thought this all a bit overdramatic, as I’m the one with the whacky temperature gauge – the one that can’t handle heat anymore and can never get enough fresh air! And this evening I was fine. Yes, warm to the point that I would start out sleeping with a sheet only, but not miserable. She was burning up and mad about it. She was irritable and weepy.
The next morning, after letting her sleep-in for as long as she wanted, she allowed me to cuddle up, play, and talk with her a bit as she debated whether to get up or not. She seemed to be back to her normal self. It was Saturday, and even though she had chores to do, I allowed her to watch a movie, letting the day unfold organically. However, the rolling eyes and bad attitude returned when she, after the movie was finished, wanted to keep watching TV rather than do her minimal chores and I was not keen on this idea. Never mind that we had a birthday present to buy and the slumber party to get to in the late afternoon.
After finally pulling it all together, we headed downtown to shop for the gift. Her cheery disposition returned and we had a good time. In the middle of the store, I found myself observing her – watching her pick out assorted bath items for her friend and noting her thoughtfulness in trying to find just the right thing. Several times she asked for my opinion.
On the way home, somehow our conversation turned to the previous evening and how hot and sweaty she got. She explained how it felt; that she just couldn’t handle it and just wanted to cry. The heat would hit her all of a sudden. Come to think of it, she (or we) had experienced many of these from her over the past few months.I somehow started telling her about hot flashes. Then it hit me. I think she is actually experiencing hot flashes! And why not? We have them when we are leaving our menses, why not have them when we are starting? These days we honor our girls after they start their moon cycle with a celebration of some sort perhaps, but I believe we are unaware of the “change” they are going through prior to the event. Of course, leading up to this we watch their bodies evolve. We all know so well the excitement and the humiliation that comes with this body altering. People can see it and there is no escaping it. The physical changes on boys are slow to show and not as noticeable, but a girl’s breasts betray her by “telling all” and is often the topic of conversation. Just as a woman has a 5-10 year phase of irregular periods, hot flashes, body restructuring and hormonal destructuring, culminating in no period at all, I contend a girl has a 5-10 year span or phase of body restructuring and hormonal building, hot flashes, and irritation, culminating in menses. Both are going through “the change” I’m now realizing the young girls deserve far more respect and patience during this phase than I had been giving in the past. Both are on opposite sides of the mountain. You can decide who is going up and who is going down.
After talking this over with a few friends, it was pointed out to me that men going through prostate challenges, as well as adolescent boys going through puberty also get hot flashes. Interesting.
Tags: 4s4w, angry, attitude, cranky, cry, daughter, female, females, Four Seasons in Four Weeks, girl, health, hormones, hot, hot flash, hot flashes, mad, menstrual, moods, period, pms, rhythm, rhythms, teen, upset, woman, Women
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November 8th, 2009
Please read this phenomenal article by Reverend Cecilia Loving. It explains exactly what I am saying about the first week of the female cycle, which I relate to "Fall" or "Autumn" in Four Seasons in Four Weeks. You don’t need to be religious to understand the stories she relates. Thanks, Cecilia!
http://www.godisabrowngirltoo.com/index.php?mact=CGBlog,cntnt01,detail,0&cntnt01articleid=11&cntnt01detailtemplate=blog&cntnt01returnid=59
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August 18th, 2009
“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle:"
What did Gloria Steinem mean when she uttered this controversial quote?
Was she putting men down? NO! Was she saying that men are useless or worthless? NO! Was she saying we don’t emotionally need or want a man in our life? NO! Was she saying we should stay as far away from men as possible? NO! Was she saying we are weak if we succumb, or even choose, to have a man in our life? Of course not! Who doesn’t love to have a wonderful partner?
When I was growing up in the 60s and early 70s, my dad used to tell me to be sure to learn how to type so that I would have something to fall back on should my husband die. He told me I didn’t need to think about setting myself up with life or health insurance because my husband would provide that.
My dad truly thought he was insuring that I could survive independently by telling me to learn to type. Even though he had a patriarchal and chauvinistic perception, my dad was always teaching me how to be strong, including how to be a critical thinker. He was a good and extremely loving father. He’d teach me, for instance, how to change a tire or my own oil. The problem here again though, was that his reason for the training was “just in case” my husband died. Fortunately for me, even as a young woman, I thought his thinking was somewhat scary. I did not trust that I’d be taken care of like a princess and besides, I have a very creative mind and wanted to participate in life, not be an observer. I felt I was being groomed to live a long life of being at the mercy of another.
As a child I felt free to be my own person and the boys who were my friends treated me like one. When I grew up, I wanted the responsibilities and benefits of an adult, but the freedom of a child. I thought it was perfectly reasonable to marry the guy of my dreams and have him treat me like his best friend and only woman on the planet. My plan was to get married at 19, have a bunch of kids (6 is the number I had in my head), have a farm, and be a team mate with my husband with whatever business we decided to have. I’d stay home and nurse the babies, but probably do the books or manage the business from home and he’d be out in the world doing the leg work and creative marketing. All the while I’d have an incredible soup on the stove and a massive garden in the back (which we both tended on the weekends). He’d come home, we’d put the kids to bed, stay up to enjoy a super connected conversation about the business, world politics, the family – brainstorming and debating solutions, and then go to bed and have incredible sex.
Well, it didn’t turn out that way. My life took a much different journey. It was colorful and it had it’s ups and downs, but my path, ultimately required that I find my own true strengths and wholeness.
What I believe Gloria Steinem meant with her famous quote was that a fish can swim on its own and you can stand on your own two feet.
Having the right partner can be the greatest thing on earth. It’s wonderful to have the security of another being to walk beside us and nurture us, to create a life with.
But it’s not a requirement for survival or happiness. Women, as a group, have a history of being told otherwise.
Even as a very independent woman, I have had to work on this. I easily confused wanting a partner with needing a partner.
I’m a pack animal. I am happiest when surrounded by beautifully-hearted people – men and women both. I love companionship. I prefer having a romantic partner over being single. I also found that being with the wrong partner can actually get in the way of my survival – my quality of life – my ability to live the life I desire. I’m always great at supporting my guy’s dreams and enjoying it, thinking I’m being promised the same in return, only to wake up one morning to not recognize who I am anymore, feeling lost, completely off track, unsupported, and too dependent for comfort. I seemed to give my personal power away for the sake of the relationship.
Now though, I understand the difference. Being in a relationship is a choice and I have the ability to survive on my own. Not being in a relationship is not always the option of choice or preference, yet one still has the ability to survive on her own. And must.
I am appreciative now of my father advising me to learn to type, but for different reasons. Rather than being something to fall back on "just in case", it is the very thing that keeps my feet firmly planted in solid ground.
Tags: bicycle, female, females, fish, gloria, period, steinem, woman, Women
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August 16th, 2009
Working away on The ManGuide, refrigerator magnets, and “her rhythm” card for his wallet, and of course, finishing the book!
Tags: females, magnets, Men, menstrual, period, wallet, Women
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August 9th, 2009
It’s important to know why you do the things you do so that you don’t end up in a place you don’t want to be.
Understanding your natural female rhythm is a very good (and crucial) place to start.
Tags: cycle, female, health, menopause, menstrual, period, rhythm, Women
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July 2nd, 2009
Women matter. Our health maintenance needs must be included in health care reform.
As a woman, I am incensed that this is not a given.
Our reproductive bodies require us to get annual pap smears, birth control, and eventually mammograms. Preventative maintenance will always be cheaper than letting things go until they become a problem. Yet, health insurance costs are through the roof and often unattainable even if we can afford them.
I don’t care if you’re conservative or liberal, its time to stop this nonsense and stand up, once and for all, for women first.
Because if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
Tags: 4s4w, childbirth, female, females, health, homebirth, maintenance, mama, menstrual, period, rhythm, Women
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June 25th, 2009
God Says Yes to Me
I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly
what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don’t paragraph
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I’m telling you is
Yes Yes Yes
- Kaylin Haught
Tags: body, female, females, girl, health, hormones, menstrual, Palin, period, pms, rhythm, teen, woman, Women
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